On the Map

New Years Resolution

I, like many others, think New Year’s Resolutions are kind of silly. 

I believe that you should be constantly trying to better yourself every day. There are quite a few habits that I would like to break. Being more punctual, keeping my room cleaner and finally stopping pressing the damn snooze button ten times every morning are a few things that linger on my “get better at this” list. 

Maybe it has been growing up, but I’ve slowly become better at being punctual, or at least giving people better estimates on when to expect me. I still haven’t made any progress with room cleanliness or abiding by my alarm clock, but I’m still hopeful that I can accomplish it.

This year, I don’t want to promise to go to the gym or procrastinate less (those are also things I try to work on all year round though) but there is another thing I find more pressing.

I want to challenge myself to write down one sentiment each day - think of it as a daily status update or a tweet - about what goes on.

Over the past six or so years, I have struggled with the thought of keeping a journal. I am always impressed by those who can keep them. I just have such difficulty doing it regularly and fitting in time to my life to write down what I’m living. But I want to be able to look back in a few years and be able to imagine being where I was then, to evoke the feelings I felt, what I was experiencing. 

Everything that happens in your life helps to make you who you are. I don’t think time should take away those memories and feelings. I have already experienced so much, and it is so easy for people my age to hit a plateau, to find life unexciting. But keeping those past memories alive, I can’t think of anything more important.

My college career is almost over, and to say I’ve had a good time is a drastic understatement. But as I look into uncertainty and change in the coming year, I want to know how I felt and what happened and as someone with a terrible memory - to have those references to bring everything flooding back.

I’m trying to make this resolution a life change, and as of now, it seems a lot more reasonable that my past attempts to write a journal entry every day.

One sentence. Every day. Let’s go.

Teach for America

The next deadline for Teach for America is coming up, moved from tomorrow to Monday, November 5th because of Hurricane Sandy.

This is MY deadline. The one I picked out months ago.

I feel unprepared, but somehow I think I will always feel like that. So I am submitting it, and I am going to find out about maybe the next step in my life.

I get freaked out and nervous about the future quite a few times a week. I am scared. There’s no way around it. I enjoy where I’m at now, and I say I don’t want to leave, but I know that I do. There is too much out there to stay put. Too much to learn, to see, and too many people to meet. As great as everything is right now, it probably won’t seem that way if I stick around to try and experience it for longer. College has been the best years of my life so far, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t more adventures to come, just different ones.

I have a few last minute things to finish up, and many many articles, and a few books I want to read to make sure I know my stuff for the interview process over the next few months. It is really just important to remember - this isn’t about someone being better than another. My competition isn’t the other applicants. This is to find people who can make changes, who can solve the educational problems in this country. The students are the important thing here - and if I am given the opportunity to help them through Teach For America, some of my life goals will be accomplished.

For now, I just need to do my best, and show them how I will make a difference.

I like to think that blogging and journaling are an important process in people’s lives. One that provides reflection on the present circumstances and one that allows a look back into another time of your life. Yet it would seem to be a rather unimportant concept in my life seeing as my last update was more than 6 months ago.

I have run into similar problems with journaling. I complete entries three days in a row, then take a month long hiatus until one day I see if hiding underneath a pile of clothes on the floor next to my bed and take a few minutes to try and explain everything that has happened.

I want to remember everything. I get so sentimental about the past and moving on. I want to be able to look back and picture each event, each moment. But if I’m too busy writing everything down, will I end up missing out on another great experience?

How important is documenting what I’m living?

My last entry was at the beginning of January while I sat in the airport waiting to fly to Madrid. So much has changed since then. The only record of everything that happened, everything that has changed is in my brain. But I am so forgetful.

What if my adventures in Spain become distant memories? I want to keep it all in my head, but I know there can’t possibly be room for it. Pictures have provided me with vivid reminders of my experiences. But then again, I don’t want to be always stuck with a camera pressed to my face. I almost feel like people nowadays are more concerned with recording the memory in the moment than experiencing it. Would it feel different if you were taking it all in without worrying about getting the perfect shot?

Like most things, balance is the key.

I have been through so many new things in the past year. Exploring Spain and Portugal, making new friends from around the U.S. and around the world – getting out of my comfort zone and showing myself that I can do travel and do that things I’ve dreamed of even though it seems impossible sometimes.

Other things have happened like my twin sister getting married two weeks ago, the first man I thought I loved cheated on me and I realized with an odd clarity what I know I want to do with my life during the next few years.

I am excited for where I see my future taking me. I’m also confused and scared, but I know that the adventure that begins once college ends is only where the rest of my life starts.

My final year of college begins in less than a week. And I’ll be honest, those words scare me.

 I’m not ready to leave the fun, craziness and opportunities that UNL has given me so far. but maybe in a year I will be.

Airport Anticipation

August seems like so long ago.  Yet just five short months later, I find myself waiting in another airport.  A five-hour layover is all that separates me from the next three months of my life.  Around me are Spanish families, adorable children, regular people and of course, a group of American tourists.  That’s what I am too I suppose, but something about traveling alone and not in a group makes the experience even more adventurous and independent.

Throughout the first semester of this year, it seemed like January would never come.  When New Years passed it didn’t really hit me that I was leaving so soon.  But after running some last minute errands yesterday and pulling an all-nighter to pack, I arrived at the airport with my parents and Michael at 4:30 this morning.

I can’t say for sure if it’s really hit me or not.  I know there is no going back.  Most of me is excited, part of me is scared.  I’ve never been out of the country alone. And while I won’t be entirely alone for most of my trip, this is something that will force me into new situations, with a different language and different customs. 

 All week people have been telling me how excited they are for me, and how jealous they are.  I’m still not sure if I have everything I need and I’m not convinced that I’m completely ready for this, but there isn’t any going back from here.   I’m kind of sad I won’t be in Spain during the summer, because there are a lot of things I think I won’t get to experience in the three months I will be there, but I already have plans to come back some day.

The last few weeks it has really hit me how much I am going to miss Nebraska.  Nebraska can be predictable and typical, but it’s a lot of what I like and people I like to surround myself with.  I’m going to miss it while I’m gone, but I have no doubt that everything will be waiting for me once I get back in three months.

I’m excited and I’m scared, but I think I’m ready.  And I look forward to continuing to update my blog with new adventures, pictures and stories from around the globe.

After India

After our visit to the Taj Mahal on Thursday, we buckled down and did some work on Friday.  After cranking out two stories, we went out for the night to wind down at the Red Monkey. It was a great way to be together as a group and celebrate our accomplishments on the website and throughout our trip.

After packing, we called it a night. While unfortunately, Saturday did not hold any elephant rides, we did see another marketplace called the Khan market and we even ended up seeing the Lotus temple, which was spectacular.

After a long day outside, we gathered up our things and headed to the airport. A warm goodbye from the hotel staff, was followed by lines at the airport and multiple security checks. Being super lucky, my seat on the 15 hour flight did not recline at all, but I was so tired I fell right asleep.

At the Newark airport, something happened and I had to go through a second security check. Being separated from the group, I ended up waiting in this area for around 30 minutes, until my backpack was searched and I was free to go. Then after navigating through tram and terminals, I reached the rest of my group and waited for our flight to Omaha.

Since being back, i haven’t really successfully gotten back on the right sleep schedule. I can hold for most of the day, but once 8 or 9 pm comes around I am out, and then up again early in the morning. Hopefully I can get back on track in the next couple of days. I keep seeing all the photos posted and telling people about my experiences in India, and it’s only making me want to go back.  It was a draining trip, but definitely in a good way.

I learned a lot, I saw a lot and most importantly I grew a lot. It was a life changing trip. It’s hard to return to the same life I left; I just have more desire to go out and see more of India and other parts of the world. Traveling always makes me realize how much of the world there is left to see, and I can’t wait to cross another place off my list.

A trip to the Taj

Today was a long day. But at the end of it, all that really matters is that I got to see the Taj Mahal. After a 6 hour bus ride, starting at 6am, and iffy restaurant service, we made it to the renowned wonder. Monkeys and camels were also spotted along this journey. 

The building was magnificent to say the least. I took a lot of pictures, knowing that my dad and grandpa will definitely want to see as much as they can of it. The most interesting facts that I learned from the guide was that the building was constructed to contain perfect symmetry, within itself, the other structures and the landscaping. Writing on the panels framing the entrance gets slightly larger towards the top, to give the illusion of perfect symmetry. Also, the four towers that surround it are structured a a one degree angle outward, so that should anything happen to them, they would fall outward, and not harm the tomb. So much interesting history was contained in this spectacular building.

Yesterday was full of shopping and haggling. I have almost everyone crossed of my list, and I can’t wait to give the gifts I got to everyone back home. Afterwards we went to Cafe Oz with Saurabh and sang some karaoke - of course we paid tribute to Amy Winehouse.

It has been a long week, but there is still more journalism to be done tomorrow as we wrap up our stories and projects.

The days left in India are dwindling down, but I feel as if we are making the most of them and experiencing the real India, as well as some of the more touristy attractions. I think what I am looking forward to most is hopefully riding elephants on Saturday! 

A weekend to remember

Things I’ve discovered about India so far:

People are awesome, things are incomprehensible and there are some moments I hope I never forget. 

This weekend was beyond words. After a fairly long train ride, we arrived in Lucknow. Straight from the train station we headed about an hour to the Mamta School. Here students are taught how to create newspapers. We spent a few hours here talking to the kids, getting to know a little about their lives and taking their pictures. Everyone was so excited for us to be there.

Despite the language barrier, a wave and a smile was all that was really needed to create a bond. When they were sitting in their classrooms, a few students read to us in Hindi out of their workbooks. They were all so proud; so many wanted to show us what they were learning. Before we left the school, a dozen or so of the students went around with their pens and had us autograph their notebooks.

Outside the gate of the school, dozens of children milled around, wanting to be inside the schoolyard. Looking at this school, many of the students who attend do not have much. If they were not in school, they would probably be working. But these were the fortunate ones; the ones who had access to an education. When i looked around the building they had, the limited supplies and funding - its hard to think that these are the lucky ones. We kept the kids late, and it started raining a little, but then we headed to our hotel to wind down.

The next morning we set off, not expecting the weekend to get even better. After a bumpy two-hour drive, we arrived in a village Rampur-Mathura. At the entrance to the school, children lined the walkways. A red dot of paint was placed on each of our foreheads, and we were given flowers as we walked through an entrance decorated with tinsel and dyed rice. 800 students spent hours the night before preparing everything for us, and they all came to the school on a Saturday to spend the day with us. After a warm welcome, we hung out with the students.

It never fails that everyone is fascinated with the cameras. They fought over getting their picture taken, and asked again and again to be in one more shot. A few people had camera phones, so each of us ended up posing with them for dozens of pictures. After playing with the kids for a few hours, we were treated with amazing hospitality and served lunch. This experience was unlike anything I have ever been through. One of the students said that they treat their guests like gods. I have never felt so humbled and undeserving as when I was being helped by these students.

After the school, we went to a nearby local village to see an even simpler type of life. We took a look at some guys extracting mint oil and walked through some fields of corn and rice paddies. They offered us tea and sweets and eventually passed around some handmade cigarettes.

Every place we went it seemed like everyone was pulling out all of the stops. Sunil, our guide and the gentleman that started the first school and started a mobile phone news service at the second school, mentioned how glad he was that we enjoyed it, because he wasn’t sure we would. But the truth is, the real India lies in the villages. Sure, you can get a taste of India in New Delhi, but its important to see how many people live outside of the big city. 

This morning we visited a palace! Built in the structure are 1024 passageways - and only one is the way out of the labyrinth. Sadly, we ran out of time on the tour so we did not get to try to find our own way out. But the building was magnificent and the main room was extremely large and built to hold itself up. No pillars are used in the huge main room, even though the dome ceiling consists of 16ft thick concrete.

Each day seems to be getting better than the last. I can’t believe we only have a week left in India. The amazing things this weekend held only makes me more excited to see what the week ahead will hold.

The day started off early. Checking out of the hotel at 5am, we made our way to the train station to catch the 6:15 ride to Lucknow. Starting out a bit rough, we ended up in some seats about a dozen cars away from where we were supposed to be.  After a stint of running down the train loading station, we found ourselves in the right place.

Yesterday was another full day. Beginging the day, we headed to Business India where I worked on editing some photos of the trip so far. Around 1pm, when everyone was thinking about lunch, I headed out with Camila and Bruce to a school funded by the Hope Project. Here the students are young girls that are taken out of the slums and streets and given a home and an education. They all wanted their picture taken and ended up taking turns snapping pictures with the camera. 

When I think about all the nice equipment that we brought, I think about how this might be the first time any of the people around us have seen a camera like it, and the chances of them owning one are slim to none. Also, I get embarrassed when I think about how much something like it would be worth to a person living on the street. How many people could it support; how much food would it buy?

After getting an interview with a teacher at the school, we met up with the rest of the group at the metro station. The metro is outstanding. No trash, anywhere (which is something special here). The cars are nice and aerated and are super cheap. We ended up at a market in Old Delhi.

We’ve been in crowded marketplaces in Delhi before, but nothing to this extent. There were people everywhere. Staying together as a group was a nightmare. We thought we almost lost Nancy!   But we made it down the strip to the Red Fort (an incredible structure by the way). Here several Indians wanted to pose with us and take our picture.

The worst thing about being in a large group of Americans is that we are targets. We are obviously different, and had money to get here and it is evident by how the locals react to us.  I don’t think I could ever get used to the constant stares and lingering glances by passer-bys on the street, in cars and even on bikes. Beggar children flock to us. Its heartbreaking to see babies, children and people missing fingers or limbs.  A man outside the metro station was missing both legs beneath the knee. I wonder if it was some accident, or on purpose to gain more from begging.

Each day is physically and emotionally trying. So many situations that we see are hard to deal with and accept.  All day we are sweating profusely and trying to drink enough water to stay hydrated. The last few days all we’ve eaten at are vegetarian restaurants. Still, every day is worth it, and trying to see everything in two weeks is taxing, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Another whirlwind day in India

Another whirlwind day in India.

To start today off, I headed off with Matt to see what we could get for his monument story. We headed to the Archaeological Survey Park to take a look at deteriorating monuments, such as the Jamali Kamali Mosque and Tomb, and see the restoration process they were going through, if any.  After a walk through a crowded marketplace, we reached a park that held the structures. Trash was littered everywhere and wild hogs rummaged through waste in various areas of the park. It was very empty, and very overgrown, but strangely peaceful. The crumbling stone creations were reminiscent of a time that was left behind, with little being done to preserve its history.

After wandering the park, (and being yelled at  for videotaping in the mosque but the guardian) we couldn’t find any construction on the monuments, so we decided on a general shift in direction. After experiencing Cannot Place, eating at a Southern India restaurant and buying my dad a nifty gift for his birthday, we headed back to Business India to rejoin the group.

       

Later on we visited the ISKCON (International Society for Krishna Consciousness) Temple which celebrates Hare Krishna, an all-encompassing awareness of the self and a supreme power. After which we ate at a vegetarian buffet on site. Even though the food has been delicious, I am kind hungering for some meat in my diet, too many vegetarian restaurants!

The days have been long, and I always feel so worn out, but there is just so much more to see, and by the end of it all, we’ll probably still feel like we didn’t do enough. Bed time definitely did not come soon enough, seeing as I fell asleep in the middle of writing this blog post, therefore it was a day late!